well, I guess I should post something

So, it's been awhile. Life has been crazy. Here is a recap.

• Father was diagnosed with bladder cancer and died 3 months later
• We moved to California for a year to take care of his "estate"
• So far have made over two dozen dump runs so far in taking care of his "estate"
• Much great writing, artwork, and photographs from my dad's have been collected
• My niece just got home from her mission in Indonesia
• Have reconnected with old friends
• Have visited old outdoor stomping grounds - Wright's Lake, Horsetail Falls, Icehouse, SF of the American, Quintette, Apple Hill, Bodega Bay, Redwoods, etc
• Have been writing my own stories based on concepts by my father
• Went to Hawaii with my wife, son, my brother and his family
  
• My son is growing. He talks, swims (with a life jacket), runs, laughs, flies kites, and is in general, a great joy to me
• My wife is patient (usually) and is fabulous for being a willing participant in this year long adventure

Life is pretty good, despite the death of my father. I find that when I am not angry at him for being a hoarder and putting me through this...trial?... I really do miss him. I wish Ethan was old enough to be able to remember him, but it is what it is. His house is haunted by my memories of him.

F@#!*&!! cancer...

First, my mother. Then Grandmother. Now it stalks two more loved ones like a ravenous beast bent on our destruction. Our enemy gives no quarter, shows no mercy, only relentless, insatiable hunger. The battle is truly lost before it's begun, yet fight we must, and hope. Yet fervent prayers from faithless lips fall only on deaf ears. I desperately need some hope. Not the hope for some improbably miracle, nor the hopeful platitudes of the well intentioned, not even the hope of a reunion hereafter, just a plain, simple hope that we can get through this, again, somehow.